The statement that slaps us men upside the head, and why that’s good


I have heard this statement for years…

“A man knows what he wants.”

My answer to that statement is – since when?

Sorry, folks, but I consider myself a grown man (mostly) and I’ll be the first to admit that, on many fronts, I have no damned clue what the hell I want!  Now, that being said, when I do know what I want, my determination to achieve the goal of that decision is unwavering and relentless.  Still, there is a certain level of hubris in the aforementioned statement that is rather baffling.

Guys, indulge me a moment regarding gender stereotypes.  Though many women use this statement as a default argument for why they are angry at men, we are the prime source of this mentality.  A lot, and I do mean a lot, of so-called “men” out there make this statement when, in reality, it is a grand act of defensive puffery.  You show a man who knows everything he wants and I’ll maintain, with every breath I draw, he is, at best, a creative and self-convincing liar.

Long story short, no man knows everything he wants.  Hell, no human being on the face of this earth knows everything they want, period.

So, what’s the point of that statement then?  Really, in my opinion (for what little it’s worth), this is a statement meant to slap the immaturity out of boys running around in grown men’s bodies, and that’s a good thing.

Guys, let’s be real here; any male human being can, in theory, think they want to bed and be with a woman.  It takes a real man to know he wants to spend, at the least, several years with a woman as a result of their copulation.  Any male human being can, in theory, make a living and pay their bills and have fancy gadgets or vehicles or machines.  It takes a real man to decide that a fancy phone, or a top-end sound system is worthless if he can’t buy himself clothes, pay for food, pay that vet bill for the dog or cat, or try to save a few bucks a week for emergencies.  Finally, any male human being can say they can cook.  It takes a real man to realize that cooking doesn’t mean pulling that can of Chef Boyardee out of the cupboard and “nuking it.”

In short, being a “real man” means “real independence.”  It means being able to juggle responsibilities and, at the very least, trying to handle those responsibilities.  Yes, some of us struggle paying our bills, or simply aren’t able to pay them at all.  Yes, some of us struggle with wrapping our minds around the concept or marriage, or having kids, or owning a home, but if we are willing to at least entertain these thoughts and think about what it would mean to receive a Father’s Day card, or mow the lawn, or get down on one knee and “pop the question,” you who have done this are light years ahead of the many “men” out there who wouldn’t know a condom from plastic wrap.

So, guys, what’s it gonna’ be?  Are we gonna start trying, or are we gonna keep running around like boys with toys?  Because, right now, those of who are least trying (granted, not always successfully) are seeing the rewards of our efforts.  If you are going to be a little boy your whole life and “have fun,” I offer these words of advice to you.

At the very least, you should want to keep a decent raincoat so someone else doesn’t have to suffer due to your immaturity.

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