We rarely stop to really be mindful of where we are or who we are with. Is the relationship you’re in worth it? Is the job you have want you want to be doing, or is everything you are doing what is just expected of you because you demonstrated talent with a task or chemistry with someone?
The heart wants what it wants, folks. If we listen to it, we can arrive at some interesting answers.
Here’s how I liken life sometimes. It truly is like a high school dance because, honesty, the vast majority of us never outgrow our high school days. Deep down, we still want to do what we wanted to do in high school, be it either the queen ruling, the jock being the boss, the stud being worshipped, or the nerd or geek just looking for acceptance. That being said, here’s something to think about.
Forget all this “love yourself first” stuff. That comes with time. Instead, Forgive what you can’t do or haven’t been able to achieve and whose heart you won’t win. Those things are beyond your control. Next, focus on the matter at hand and think back. In my case, I ask myself about when I used to help out on high school projects. I was usually first in, last out, and always working, joking and laughing. Above all, I was helping. Whether it was showing someone how to do something, handling a repair, or simply offering a shoulder for a friend, I was helping. Yes, I was loud, occasionally obnoxious, and high energy, but I was me.
When I look at my life I ask myself who was there with me. Who was there at the beginning, helped with the tables, the drinks, keeping the energy high and everyone laughing? Who was there with me? Some of my friends would leave early, mostly because they were off to the next party or adventure. Some of them had homework and studying. Some of them stayed out to help clean up. The last set were the ones I remembered most.
That’s when the real fun happened. The deep conversations and connections. We learned about each other, and we realized we weren’t all that different. We all wanted to help. We loved doing what we did and, despite an occasional complaint, we were grateful that we each stayed there to help clean up. In the end, we almost always left together.
That’s the yardstick I’m learning to measure my friendships by. The ones who stay and clean up the mess, even when they have other things to do or places they’d rather be, they are the ones I know are always there. If you have a handful of friends like that, count yourself as fortunate and take a moment out of your day to thank them. You might be surprised how they react.