It is with deepest regret that I am announcing your termination as an authorized voter, effectively immediately. As a Representative to Congress, I find myself forced to hold myself to certain high standards and that includes the people who I deem to be “worthy” of being allowed to decide if I retain my position as a member of the House of Representatives. In your case, you have demonstrated repeated poor judgment by choosing my opponent over myself, as well as a record of preferring certain programs and political stances which I have been opposed to over the years. When I have suggested improvements for your life, you have resisted, and you have demonstrated a complete lack of desire to cooperate with me.
The United States of America is going to be focused on creating greatness, and the means removing from our midst the ability of certain citizens to be decision makers at the polls. While you are a legal citizen with no felonies, and I recognize and appreciate your loyal contributions to our electoral process, the fact that you have voted from my opponents repeatedly demonstrates you have neither the ambition nor the ability to help us reach the goal of greatness for the common good.
It is my hope that, in future endeavors, you choose to be more of a “team player,” rather than try to find ways to oppose what is deemed to be in your best interest. As a government official, I am truly here to help you, and it pains me to we have come to this juncture. Unfortunately, you have let with no choice.
You will receive no severance. In fact, expect to receive a bill from the Internal Revenue Service for the services I have performed on your behalf.
Your Elected Representative
NOTE: This is satirical. Any elected representative who takes offense to this letter has either wished they could do it, or is too thin-skinned to hold their current elected office.