We’ve been dealing with so many political issues, anger, and hate,there is only antidote: another TV show/movie mashup. And what better matter-antimatter collision that a cult classic among southern conservatives rebooted with the cast of an uber-liberal standard bearer?
I give you the mashup of Smokey and the Bandit, featuring the cast of Will & Grace:
Scene: Smokey (Will Truman) is in the car with Frog (Karen Walker) who is running blocker for a truck full of fine imported Cuban Cigars driven by Snowman (Jack MacFarland). They are being pursued by Sheriff Beauford T. Justice (Mr. Beverley) his jilted daughter (Grace Adler). This is a CB radio exchange:
Bandit: breaker, breaker. You out there, Snowman?
Snowman: first of all, it’s the fabulous snowman, and boy am I out there.
Bandit (speaking to Frog): yeah, he is indeed out there.
Frog: oh for the love of God, Jack. Just answer the freaking question. Where the hell are you?
Snowman: oh, wouldn’t you like to know?
Sheriff: breaker breaker this is Smokey Bear and I’m looking for the Bandit. The famous, handsome bandit.
Smokey: Now now sheriff. Theres gonna be no flirting on this….
Frog: give that damned (grab the microphone from Bandit. He nearly drives off the road as they argue) listen you Lilliputian Law Enforcer. I’ve had it up to here with you and your Fairy Goddaughter.
Daughter of Sheriff: did she just call me…
Sheriff: save your breath…(speaks into the microphone) shes not worth it. After all, we all know shes so fake her boobs are the only REAL thing to her, and those are so fake they make Barbie look real.
Bandit (bewildered): seriously, what the hell do you get me into?
Snowman: enough already! We need to get these authentic handbags to Barneys in New York before the new tariffs take effect!
Frog: oh my God. I almost forgot the handbags. Do you think you can get us to New York in 18 hours?
Bandit: 18 hours? From Miami? Sure, why dont I just install a hyperdrive in the car and jump light speed, Whore Solo?
Snowman: what we need is some super fast music to inspire us to outrun that sheriff (Turns on the radio and real mccoys “come and get your love” comes on the radio.) Not bad.
Sheriff: you outrun me and I’ll chase you up and down this I’ll be on you like a rider on a pon….
Daughter of sheriff: okay we get it…(shouting into the microphone) Bandit let me go with you. I’ll set up an interior design studio and that gal with you can work for me.
Bandit: I swear if we have any more puns this will be an NBC comedy….